Funny Jokes in English

Funny jokes in English

Laughing is good for health. To laugh we are providing the Funny Jokes in English which are too funny and you can laugh thoroughly. These are the best Funny Jokes in English for enjoying yourself and having fun. These jokes will make you laugh completely and I hope you people will also enjoy it.

The best Funny Jokes in English for enjoying yourself and having fun. please go through it.

Best Funny Jokes to Laugh and Entertain

1 . Attendant: Doctor, there is a mam outside who wants to know if we have lost any of our men from the insane asylum.

Doctor: Why is that?

Attendant: He says that someone has run off with his wife.

the best jokes

the best jokes

 

2 . Man1: Didn’t you advertise for a wife on that day?

Man2: yes, I got so many responses around 100+.

Man1: What they told?

Man2: You can have mine.

the best jokes

the best jokes

3 . Man1: Why are you so happy today?

Man2:my wife is not talking to me and I m not in mood to interrupt her that’s why.

the best jokes

the best jokes

 

4 . Judge: All those robberies were done by you?

Culprit: Yes,

Judge: Why you dint take others help?

Culprit: I was scared that, he might turn out to be dishonest person.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

Best Funny Jokes in English

 

5 . Judge: What is your age?

Culprit: twenty-five

Judge: this what you are saying from past 10 years

Culprit: I m not the one to say one thing today and another tomorrow.

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the best Funny jokes in English

 

6 . Customer: I look ridiculous in this dress.

Salesman: But, looking ridiculous itself is the fashion nowadays.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

 

7 . Husband: Do you have a book called “master of woman”?

Shoop Keeper: The fiction department is on the other side sir.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

 

8 . Sales Manager: Remember in this shop there is a rule that, the customer is always right

Salesman1: What did he say?

Salesman2: He only said that your Sales Manager is a bloody fool.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

9 . New Member: I cant understand why the club has no telephone here?

Club Member: The reason is , all members of the club are married.

Medical Man: What would you do in the case of a person who has eaten poisonous roots?

Nurse: Recommend a change of diet.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

10 . What is a practical nurse?

Nurse: explained a student, is one who ultimately marries a rich patient.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

11 . A divorce trial record:

Wife: We were very happy for more than a year, then baby came

Judge: boy or girl?

Wife: Girl, she was blonde, and moved in next door.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

 

Funny jokes in English

12 . Couple applying for divorce

Husband: I need divorce because my wife is throwing at me from the  day I got married.

Judge: Why after ten years?

Husband: nowadays, her aim is getting better.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

Funny jokes in English

 

13 . Friend1: Is your son earning good money in America?

Friend2: I don’t know that, but you see police are offering 25k for information about him.

the best jokes

the best jokes

14 . Doctor: Do you know the side effect of birth control pill?

Student: Yes.

Doctor: What is that?

Student: Pregnancy

the best jokes

the best jokes

15 . patient: I often fell like killing myself. How to overcome this?

Doctor: leave that to me.

the best jokes

the best jokes

16 . Judge: have you ever agreed with your wife?

Husband: Yes

Judge:  When?

Husband: When my house was set on fire and we both tried to get out together from the window.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

 

 

Funny jokes in English

17 . Wife: I should have  listened to my mother’s advice and never married you.

Husband: Good grief. How I have misjudged that woman.

the best jokes

the best jokes

18 . Attendant: Doctor, there is a mam outside who wants to know if we have lost any of our men from the insane asylum.

Doctor: Why is that?

Attendant: He says that someone has run off with his wife.

the best jokes

the best jokes

19 . Man1: Didn’t you advertise for a wife on that day?

Man2: yes, I got so many responses around 100+.

Man1: What they told?

Man2: You can have mine.

 

the best jokes

the best jokes

Funny jokes in English

 

20 . Man1: Why are you so happy today?

Man2:my wife is not talking to me and I m not in mood to interrupt her that’s why.

the best jokes

the best jokes

21 . Judge: All those robberies were done by you?

Culprit: Yes,

Judge: Why you dint take others help?

Culprit: I was scared that, he might turn out to be dishonest person.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

 

Funny jokes in English

22 . Judge: What is your age?

Culprit: twenty-five

Judge: this what you are saying from past 10 years

Culprit: I m not the one to say one thing today and another tomorrow.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

 

Funny jokes in English

23 . Customer: I look ridiculous in this dress.

Salesman: But, looking ridiculous itself is the fashion nowadays.

the best jokes

the best jokes

 

24 . Husband: Do you have a book called “master of woman”?

Shop Keeper: The fiction department is on the other side sir.

the best jokes

the best jokes

25 . Sales Manager: Remember in this shop there is a rule that, the customer is always right

Salesman1: What did he say?

Salesman2: He only said that your Sales Manager is a bloody fool.

the best jokes

the best jokes

26 . New Member: I cant understand why the club has no telephone here?

Club Member: The reason is , all members of the club are married.

the best jokes

the best jokes

27 . Medical Man: What would you do in the case of a person who has eaten poisonous roots?

Nurse: Recommend a change of diet.

the best jokes

the best jokes

28 . What is a practical nurse?

Nurse: explained a student, is one who ultimately marries a rich patient.

the best jokes

the best jokes

29 . A divorce trial record:

Wife: We were very happy for more than a year, then baby came

Judge: boy or girl?

Wife: Girl, she was blonde, and moved in next door.

the best jokes

the best jokes

30 . Couple applying for divorce

Husband: I need divorce because my wife is throwing at me from the  day I got married.

Judge: Why after ten years?

Husband: nowadays, her aim is getting better.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

 

Funny jokes in English

31 . Friend1: Is your son earning good money in America?

Friend2: I don’t know that, but you see the police are offering 25k for information about him.

 

 

32 . Doctor: Do you know the side effect of birth control pill?

Student: Yes.

Doctor: What is that?

Student: Pregnancy

the best jokes

the best jokes

33 . patient: I often fell like killing myself. How to overcome this?

Doctor: leave that to me.

the best jokes

the best jokes

34 . Judge: have you ever agreed with your wife?

Husband: Yes

Judge:  When?

Husband: When my house was set on fire and we both tried to get out together from the window.

the best jokes

the best jokes

35 . Wife: How is my new dress? I bought it for ridiculous price.

Husband: You mean you bought it for a ridiculous figure?

the best jokes

the best jokes

 

Funny jokes in English

36 . patient: I m scared because this is my first operation.

Doctor: I can understand how you feel

Patient: how?

Doctor: This is my first operation too,

the best jokes

the best jokes

37 . Friend1: A girl insulted mew.

Friend2: Why?

Friend1: She asked me for a dance.

Friend2: What is there to insult in this?

Friend1: I was dancing with her at that time.

the best jokes

the best jokes

38 . Judge: Why did you shot your wife?

Husband: Divorce was expensive and I can’t afford it so.

the best jokes

the best jokes

 

Funny jokes in English

39 . Traveller: Is that safe to travel through your aeroplane?

Agency:  Yes of course, if it wasn’t safe, would we be using the fly now and pay later policy.

the best jokes

the best jokes

40 . Lady Secretary: Sir, your wife want to kiss over telephone

Boss: take the message and give me later.

the best jokes

the best jokes

41 . Q: Why did dentist’s wife shoot him?

A: She found that he was filling the wrong cavity.

the best jokes

the best jokes

 

Funny jokes in English

42 . Mother: Who is the popular boy in your class?

Son: Sam, he gives chocolates to us daily.

the best jokes

the best jokes

43 . Husband: do you believe in coeducation?

Wife: no. I only like that boys and girls should study together.

the best jokes

the best jokes

44 . Husband: Where does money goes?

Wife: don’t ask me that question, because ill pay through credit card for everything.

the best jokes

the best jokes

45 . Dad: I m not satisfied with your result.

Son: I told my teacher that you wouldn’t, but still she sent it.

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the best jokes

46 . Visitor: Why do you sing when you know that you are worse at it?

Girl: my mother makes me to sing, when she want visitors to quit.

the best jokes

the best jokes

47 . Judge: I can’t believe that you killed everyone in a single blow!

Culprit: Can I show how I did my lord?

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the best jokes

48 . Teacher: Whom we call as Economist?

Student: Who have more knowledge about money than people who have it.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

 

Funny jokes in English

49 . Girl1: Do you drink?

Girl2: Nope

Girl1: then hold my drink, until I buckle my shoe.

 

the best jokes

the best jokes

50 .  Customer: I will just give you a rupee its not because you deserve it, but it pleases me.

Waiter: I don’t need this tip. Keep it with you and enjoy by yourself.

the best jokes

the best jokes

51 . Judge: You say that you shot your husband accidently

Wife: yes

Judge: How?

Wife: I was aiming at my mother-in -law, but he just arrived.

the best jokes

the best jokes

52 . Son: Dad, Am I descended from monkey?

Dad: I don’t know, because I have never met your mother’s people.

the best jokes

the best jokes

53 . Friend1: what is marriage?

Friend2: It ia legalised way to supress free speech.

the best jokes

the best Funny jokes in English

 

 

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